Moral and Interesting Bits and Pieces

A Tale of Potatoes

2011-11-30T10:03:00.001+05:30

Once a junior school teacher asked her students to bring some potatoes in a plastic bag. Each potato will be given a name of the person whom that child hates. Like this, the number of potatoes will be equal to the number of persons they hate.
On a decided day the children brought their potatoes well addressed. Some had two, some had three and some had even five potatoes. The teacher said they have to carry these potatoes with them everywhere they go for a week. As the days passed the children started to complain about the spoiled smell that started coming from these potatoes. Also some students who had many potatoes complained that it was very heavy to carry them all around. The children got rid of this assignment after a week, when it got over.

The teacher asked, "How did you feel in this one week?" The children discussed their problems about the smell and weight. Then the teacher said, "This situation is very similar to what you carry in your heart when you don't like some people. This hatred makes your heart unhealthy and you carry that hatred in your heart everywhere you go. If you can not bear the smell of spoiled potatoes for a week, imagine the impact of this hatred that you carry through out your life, on your heart?"

The Morale :
We need to regularly clean the unwanted weeds that we grow. We must learn to forgive those who have not behaved with us as expected and forget the bad things. This would keep our mind more open and the cup will always have room for more good.

Righteousness Vs Unrighteousness

2011-11-29T16:51:00.003+05:30

At times it is good to apply unrighteousness!!! You disagree ? Here is one explanation!

There once lived a great hermit, who was famous for telling the truth. He had taken a vow not to lie and was popularly known as “Mr. Truthful.” No matter what he said, everyone believed him because he had earned a great reputation in the community where he lived and did his spiritual practices. One evening, a robber was chasing a merchant to rob and kill him. The merchant was running for his life.

To escape from the robber, the merchant ran towards the forest where the hermit lived outside the village. The merchant felt very safe because there was no way the robber could find out where he was hiding in the jungle. But the hermit had seen the direction in which the merchant went. The robber came to the hermit’s cottage and paid his respects. The robber knew that the hermit would tell only the truth and could be trusted, so he asked him whether he had seen somebody running away. The hermit knew that the robber must be looking for somebody to rob and kill, so he faced a big problem.

If he told the truth, the merchant would certainly be killed. If he lied, he would incur the sin of lying and lose his reputation. Any immoral act that may harm others is called sin. Ahimsā (nonviolence) and truthfulness are two most important teachings of all religions that we must follow. If we have to choose between these two, which one should we choose?

This is a very difficult choice. Because of his habit of telling the truth, the hermit said: “Yes, I saw someone going that way.” So the robber was able to find the merchant and kill him. The hermit could have saved a life by hiding the truth, but he did not think very carefully and made a wrong decision.

Lord Krishna’s purpose in telling Arjuna this story was to teach Arjuna that sometimes we have to choose between a rock and a hard place. Lord Krishna told Arjuna that the hermit shared with the robber the sin of killing a life. The robber could not have found the merchant if the hermit had not told the truth. So when two noble principles conflict with each other, we have to know which one is the higher principle.

Ahimsa has the highest priority, so the hermit should have lied in this situation to save a life.

One may not tell a truth that harms a person in any way. It isn’t easy to apply Dharma (or righteousness) to real life situations because what is Dharma and what is Adharma (or unrighteousness) can sometimes be very difficult to decide.

And here is the situation where one needs a Guide, Leader, Mentor, AtmiyaGuru whatever you call..........

5 NICE LITTLE STORIES

2011-03-19T10:42:00.000+05:30

1. Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella...

THAT'S FAITH

2. When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her...

THAT'S TRUST

3.Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next Morning but still we set the alarms in our watch to wake up...

THAT'S HOPE

4. We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future or having any certainty of uncertainties...

THAT'S CONFIDENCE

And here comes the last one ;)
We see the world suffering. We know there is every possibility of the same or similar things happening to us. But still we get married...

THAT'S OVER CONFIDENCE !!!

Do not react, only respond...

2011-02-12T10:39:00.002+05:30

Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized even in my case then , it is not the shouting of my father or my boss that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. It’s not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that hurts me...

The Take-Away : The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

Do not react, only respond.

Reactions are always instinctive, whereas responses are always intellectual...

Tragedies of BOY life ;-)

2010-12-03T17:00:00.001+05:30

1.Good girls are not good looking :(

2.Good looking girls are not good girls:P

3.Good looking and good girls are not single :->

4.Good looking , good and single girls have strong Brothers:->...

5.Good looking, good, single girls without brothers will treat us as her brother B-)

King Of The Jungle!

2010-11-25T10:15:00.000+05:30

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The trembling monkey answered, "You are, mighty lion!

Later, the lion confronted an ox and fiercely bellowed, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The terrified ox stammered, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"

On a roll now, the lion swaggered up to an elephant and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatched up the lion with his trunk and slammed him against a tree half a dozen times, leaving the lion feeling as if it had been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomped on the lion until it looked like a corn tortilla and ambled away.

The lion let out a moan of pain, lifted his head weakly, and hollered after the elephant, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it.......

Expand

2010-11-15T14:34:00.001+05:30

Secret to success

2010-11-09T11:19:00.002+05:30

A young man asked Socrates the secret to success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning.

They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him towards the river. When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until the boy started turning blue. Socrates pulled his head out of the water and the first thing the young man did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air.

Socrates asked, 'What did you want the most when you were there?" The boy replied, "Air." Socrates said, "That is the secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted the air, then you will get it." There is no other secret.

A burning desire is the starting point of all accomplishment. Just like a small fire cannot give much heat, a weak desire cannot produce great results.

10 funny truths of life

2010-11-06T16:01:00.001+05:30

Here is a list of ten funny truths of life

1. If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.

2. Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

3. When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

4. If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

Especially for Students----

5. If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

6. You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

7. The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

8. After a long wait for bus, two buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.

9. If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

10. Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

;)

Ever fell in love with a Ghost???

2010-11-06T15:54:00.002+05:30

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

'Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

About 15 students raise their hand.

'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.

'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.

You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks,'So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'

Ahmed replied, "Shit, from back there I thought you said Goats."

;)

Wife's Birthday ;-)

2010-08-20T11:02:00.004+05:30

A man wanted to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he ordered a birthday cake. The salesman asked him what message he wanted put on the cake.
He thought for a moment and said, put "getting older but you are getting better"

The salesman asked "how do you want me to put it?" The man said 'Well...put "You are getting older" at the top and "but you are getting better" at the bottom.'

When the cake was unveiled at the party all the guests were aghast at the message on the cake.

It read: "You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom"

Moral of the Story:
1. Double proof read everything before you send.
2. Don't trust others to write it right for you.
3. Don't order cakes by telephone

You have a nice weekend ;)

Positive Attitude

2010-07-16T18:38:00.001+05:30

Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella. That is attitude.

When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish. Only time matters. Just hold on, God gives opportunity to everyone!

Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till ending.

Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them. Wall or Bridge?
Remember you are the architect of your life.

Every problem has (n+1) solutions, where n is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried. That’s life.

`Search a beautiful heart, but don't search a beautiful face'. Coz beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.

It’s not important to hold all the good cards in life. But it’s important how well you play with the cards which you hold.

Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, `relax dear its just a bend. Not the end. Have Faith and have a successful life.

When you feel sad, to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, `Damn I am really so cute` and you will overcome your sadness. But don’t make this a habit coz liars go to hell.

One of the basic differences between God and human is, God gives, gives and forgives. But human gets, gets, gets and forgets. Be thankful in life!

Only two types of persons are happy in this world. 1st is Mad and 2nd is Child. Be Mad to achieve what you desire and be a Child to enjoy what you have achieved!

Pearls of Wisdom

2010-07-15T18:33:00.007+05:30

Lovely words by Pearls from History

(pics from net and click on the image to enlarge)*

also you can visit this lovley site desi colors

Global Warming

2010-07-09T17:53:00.004+05:30

Global Warming very well said in one picture!!!!

(pic taken from net)*

Born brave

2010-07-02T18:24:00.003+05:30

please click on the image to read and have a closer look

love for animals

2010-06-11T11:06:00.002+05:30

See the guts ;-)

2010-06-10T12:17:00.000+05:30

On a ship, the Project managers of three different companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys.

They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts. The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship.

The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, "See the guts!"

Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship.

The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, "See the guts!"

Now the Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds.

The Trainee promptly replied, "Why the hell should I ???"

The PM proudly said, "See the guts!"

;-)

Trust the PILOTS

2010-06-01T18:05:00.010+05:30

There are times when you have to blindly trust the pilots........

Please click on the pics to have a closer look

Wake Island, Pacific Ocean...

Tioman Island, Off the coast of Malaysia

Macao Intl Airport

Kuujjuaraapik, Quebec

A rock, off the coast of Green wood...
Outstanding job by a great young pilot from Pennsylvania!
(Canadian Military Labrador Helicopter)

Cant add anything else to this.....the next picture is worth 10000.. words..If you think your
military pilots don't earn their pay, you need to take a look at this picture.....

This photo was taken by a soldier in Afghanistan of a helicopter rescue mission.
The pilot is a PA National Guard guy who flies EMS choppers in civilian life.

Now how many people on the planet you reckon could set the ass end of a chopper down on the roof top of a

shack, on a steep mountain cliff, and hold it there while soldiers load wounded men in the rear.

If this does not impress you......I am sorry....nothing will ever will.....

(This is a forward mail)*

Define BIRTHDAY

2010-06-01T13:00:00.002+05:30

Define birthday? A question asked by BBC to the former President of India, Dr A.P.J Abdul Kalam and the answer was this.....

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The Only Day In Your Life, You Cried And Your Mother Was Smiling........

Husband and Wife

2010-05-28T09:11:00.005+05:30

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again
************ ********* ********* ********* *
Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means, With Idiot For Ever
********** ********* ********* *********
Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you
************ ********* ********* ********* *
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one everyday.
************ ********* ********* ********* *
Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.
************ ********* ********* ********* *
Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents
************ ********* ********* *********
Husband: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

Wife: A lovely Push...!!!

Have a nice weekend ;-)

India and Indians

2010-05-21T18:56:00.005+05:30

An American visited India and went back to America where he met his Indian friend who asked him;
"How did u find my Country?"
The American said:
"It is a great country with solid ancient history and immensely rich with natural resources."

The Indian friend then asked "How did u find Indians??"
Indians??
Who Indians??
I didn't find or met a single Indian there in India.

What nonsense??
Who else could u met in India then??

The American said..
In Kashmir I met a Kashmiri
In Punjab a Panjabi
In Bihar, Maharastra, Rajasthan, Bengal, Tamil Nadu, Kerala
Bihari, Marathi, Marwadi, Bengali, Tamilian, Malayali

Then i met
A Hindu,
A Christian,
A Jain,
A Buddhist,
A Muslim

And many many many more but not a single Indian did i meet!

Well I don't know to which category this belongs. This is neither fun nor moral.

Anyway lets hope the new generation will think and act 'seamless', ignoring those nasty politicians who mislead the youth by injecting regional fanaticism.

Jai hind!

What is confidence and dedication?

2010-05-20T09:09:00.004+05:30

One incidence is quoted.

India vs Australia [2004] match...

Brad Hogg took Sachin's wicket.

At the end of the match Hogg gave that
ball to Sachin for his autograph.

Sachin put his sign with one beautiful sentence,
"IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN." –

Till today Hogg could not take his wicket for the second time.

THAT'S CONFIDENCE & DEDICATION..!
HATS OFF TO OUR LITTLE MASTER SACHIN.

After this incident Brad Hogg and Sachin Tendulkar came face to face 21 times...but he could never get the Master Blaster out!

Howzaaat! :-)

Positive Approach

2010-05-18T11:47:00.001+05:30

(plz click on the image to read)

10 PRINCIPLES for Peace of Mind

2010-05-12T13:07:00.003+05:30

1. Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked.
Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others' affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God. God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. There is God to look after everything. Why are you bothered? Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget.
This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Believe in the justice of God and the doctrine of destiny. Let Him judge the act of the one who insulted you. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive, Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition.
This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yourself in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely and leave the rest to God.

4. Do Not Be Jealous.
We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody's life is shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment.
If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured.
This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully thinking, "God wills it so, so be it." God's plan is beyond our comprehension. Believe in it and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.
This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you rest less. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly.
Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you
will be able to produce better results in less time.

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant.
An empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name.

10. Do not waste time in protracted wondering " Should I or shouldn't I?”
Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Always remember, God has His own plan, too for you. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Take it as the Will of God. You do not have the power to alter the course of God's Will. Why cry over spilt milk?

and this 11th point is my own ;-)
11. Do continue reading moral and fun posts to be happy in life ;)

Dont talk when he drives!

2010-05-11T11:13:00.000+05:30

How will you survive in this situation ?

2010-05-07T16:16:00.003+05:30

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;-)

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

2010-05-07T15:38:00.004+05:30

These answers were given by 2nd grade school children:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Dye it. You know her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

:)

Problems of deforestation

2010-04-23T10:27:00.002+05:30

There are various problems which we will face in future, due to Deforestation. Yes! now just have a look at one of them ;-)

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The Secret to a Happy Married Life

2010-04-23T10:23:00.000+05:30

Once I was asked by my Friend, "What is the secret behind your happy
married life?"

I said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and
Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

He asked, "Can you explain?"

I said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my
wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's
decisions."

Still not convinced, Friend asked me "Give me some examples"

I said," Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount
to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner,
refrigerator , monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are
decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

He asked, "Then what is your role?"

I said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether
America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over
Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar
should retire, etc etc and Do you know one thing,

My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these"…………!!!!!!

Team Work

2010-04-16T09:20:00.001+05:30

Th best example of TEAM WORK portrayed through a lovely cartoon!

(pic taken from net)*

Copy Paste

2010-04-10T08:11:00.001+05:30

What does a techie name his twins? Any guess???

(pic from net)*

Clever yet not upto the mark

2010-04-08T09:43:00.002+05:30

You can click on the pic to have a closer look

(pic from net)*

The naughty kid Tintu Mon

2010-03-31T17:13:00.007+05:30

MOTHER
Father to Tintu Mon: Why can't you think every woman as your mother?
Tintu Mon: I can, but if i do so, what will people think of you?

BEGGAR
Bus Conductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman?
Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “change”, Is your father a Beggar??

MARRIAGE
Tintu Mon to lover: Yesterday I had been to your house!!! Looks like our marriage will not happen!
Lover : Hey dear ! What happened? You met my dad ???
Tintu Mon: No! In fact, I met your sister!

English Class
Tintu Mon: I sleep with dad last night
Teacher corrects him: no..no! I slept with dad last night
Tintu Mon: So you reached my home after I slept????? Very baaad Teacher!!!

DOSA
Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when heated
Tintu Mon: Dosa

PROFESSOR
A Professor to Tintu Mon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?”
Tintu Mon: “JIMBALAKDI BAMBA”
Professor: “i don't understand anything”
Tintu Mon: “same 2 you”

DINESHAN
Teacher :What is the name of Gandhiji's son?
Tintu Mon: Dineshan
Teacher :Why?????
Tintu Mon : Mahatma Gandhi is the father of ‘di-neshan’

FAMILY
Tintu Mon : how am I born ?
Mom: Oh dear! You reached in a flood!
Tintu Mon: So how are you and dad born! And grandpa and grandma and others?
Mom: Oh dear! Even we all in a flood!
Tintu Mon: Opps! No one in this family is born for proper parents!!! Shame on us!

LKG
To be is to do(Socrates)
To do is to be(Plato)
To be or not to be(Shakespeare)
Alright here you go!!! .Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu mon, LKG)
(That is the jingle of a local student’s bag ad)

CHEMISTRY
Teacher: What is “Al2 O3″ ?
Ramu: Alumina.
Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3″?
Tintu Mon : “Filomina”

FOOD
Tintu Mon: ‘Dad Dad! I wanna say something!..
Dad: Never talk while having food youuuuu idi***+_#)_(*)$(&!!!
(After eating)
Dad: Ok now tell me what you want?
Tintu Mon: I was about to tell this……..there was a lizard in your plate!!!!!!
(pic taken from net)*

Love At First Sight :)

2010-03-30T19:09:00.002+05:30

(pic taken from net)*

Help for childhood fears ;-)

2010-03-19T20:00:00.002+05:30

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TOLD HIM

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist.
'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.'

'How much do you charge?'
'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
'I'll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you,' I said.

Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street.
'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!

A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV.
'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed - ain't nobody under there now!’

SCREW THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BAR ATTENDER. ;-)

Two Choices

2010-03-05T19:37:00.002+05:30

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Delete

2. Forward

May your day, be a Shay Day.

This is a mail which i received and thought should share with you all.....:)

Always Ask, Never Assume..........

2010-02-25T15:17:00.002+05:30

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phoneto call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on thehillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded, 'and I need to getsome close up shots.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So,what you're telling me, is ............. You're NOT my flight instructor?????'

Someone said:
When you ASSUME = you make an ASS out of U and ME ;-)

LIFE EXPLAINED IN JUST 5 BOTTLES!!

2010-02-24T10:58:00.001+05:30

LIFE EXPLAINED IN JUST 5 BOTTLES........................!!!

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A Genuine Boss

2010-01-29T08:59:00.001+05:30

There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5:30 pm. His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today" The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch.

As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 PM. suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children. He looked for his boss, He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children.

He reached home. Children were not there. His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him.

His wife asked him "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry. The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about the children?"

Wife replied "You don't know. Your manager came here at 5:15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition "

What had really happened was .... The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition.

The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty is established. That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous.

By the way, can you guess as to who the boss was..?

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He was none other than

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam (Missile Man & Former President of India)

Self Appraisal

2009-12-08T09:53:00.001+05:30

A little boy went into a drug store, reached the telephone, he climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone number).
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy: (with more perseverance) : "Lady, I'll even sweep your house andyour sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida."
Woman: No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No thanks,

Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is what we call "Self Appraisal"

The Sincere Friend (jfl) ;)

2009-12-01T10:44:00.002+05:30

Happiness is not something you find, it's something you create…!!!

To All Those Who Helped Each Other

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The Sincere Friend...!

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;-)

USED vs. LOVED

2009-11-24T13:38:00.001+05:30

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.
In anger, the man took the child's hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions..... .
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Nail In The Fence

2009-11-18T10:49:00.001+05:30

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.

His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the ! day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said,
"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry", the wound is still there.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

Shut up and shut down

2009-11-13T09:49:00.001+05:30

:)

Good job Mr. Nitin

The Heights of Tiredness

2009-11-06T18:19:00.005+05:30

Have You Ever Been This Tired? ;-)

It doesn't matter how many people see this, but yes, I can see a smile in your face :)

(all pics taken from net)*

MONALISA

2009-11-05T19:40:00.003+05:30

Amazing....???

Any guesses ??

Any guess now ??

??????

Artist assistants stand next to 3,604 cups of coffee which have been made into a giant Mona Lisa in Sydney, Australia .

The 3,604 cups of coffee were each filled with different amounts of milk to create the different shades!!

Amazing right ???? :)

Niagra Falls when frozen in 1911

2009-11-04T09:51:00.001+05:30

Margaret writes:

Her mother had a cousin living in Niagara Falls that year. She told the family

that she and her neighbors woke up in the night feeling something was wrong.

It took a while but they finally realized that it was the lack of noise. They had

all become so used to the roar of the falls that the silence was unusual enough

to alert their senses. Of course at that time nearly all the houses were near the

falls. Amazing pictures! Almost 100 years old. Can you imagine walking on

Niagara falls?

(pics taken from net)*

Before and after Marriage ;-)

2009-10-30T09:18:00.003+05:30

Before marriage.....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....
Scroll down……

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Simply read from bottom to the top.

Corporate Fact ;-)

2009-10-29T09:12:00.000+05:30

Anti-Depressions-Video

2009-10-28T09:17:00.000+05:30

Man and Hen ;-)

2009-10-26T10:03:00.003+05:30

Anil came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as
he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed
wearing a long flowing white robe. 'Who the hell are you?' Demanded Anil,
'and what are you doing in my bedroom?'.

The mysterious Man answered 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm Yamraj'.

Anil was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to
live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me
back straight away'.

Yamraj replied 'Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can
only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Anil was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house,
he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around
pecking the ground. 'This isn't so bad' he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said 'So you're the new hen, how
are you enjoying your first day here?'

It's not so bad' replies Anil, 'but I have this strange feeling inside
like I'm about to explode'.

You're ovulating' explained the rooster, 'don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before'.

'Never' replies Anil

'Well just relax and let it happen'

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops
out from under his tail.

An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the
better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever
happened to him... ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting .........

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"Anil, wake up you drunken bastard, you're shitting on the bed".

1 minute question paper; try how intelligent you are ;-)

2009-10-16T09:56:00.006+05:30

(click on the image if unable to read)

not sure ????? :) scroll down for the answers

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Adam and Eve or Monkeys ??? (Jfg) :)

2009-10-12T10:20:00.003+05:30

Click on the image to enlarge and read

Creative Marketing

2009-10-06T19:54:00.002+05:30

A keen immigrant, a Gujarati Indian lad, applied for a salesman's job at London 's premier downtown department store. In fact, it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.

The boss asked him,
"Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes sir, I was a salesman in India ", replied the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around.

The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"

"Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman.

"Only one sale?" blurted the boss."No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. "If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale.By the way "How much was the sale worth?"

" 93300534.00 pounds" said the young Indian.

"What"," How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.

Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he'd be needing a boat and I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines.

Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer.

I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6-sleeper camper tents.

Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!"

"No" answered the salesman,

"He came in to buy a headache relief tablet and I said to him, "Sir, fishing is best headache pain removal"

Boss - "You sit in my chair........"

A beautiful Ad by Airtel

2009-09-22T09:03:00.003+05:30

Amazing Airtel ad

Very creative ad with a sensible concept.

Music by Slumdog Millionaire fame A.R.Rahman.

Have a look at this amazing ad.....

Crooked or Smart ? :)

2009-09-16T09:20:00.002+05:30

The Car Accident

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident. It's a bad one. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So, you're a man... That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied,"I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle... My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police..."

Crooked or Smart ;-) ???

100 world known personalities

2009-09-15T11:35:00.003+05:30

There are more than 100 world known personalities in this painting. If you can identify a minimum of 25, you may consider yourself a well-informed person.

Check out this high resolution picture

Good luck :)

(pic taken from net)*

Iman Maleki

2009-09-14T09:10:00.006+05:30

Meet Iman Maleki one of the best realist painters in the world

Born in 1976 in Teheran.

From an early age he was fascinated with paintings

Age 15 he studied with Morteza Katouzian, de greatest realist painter in Iran & since had many successful showings of his paintings.

The most important exhibition to date was the “Exhibition of Realist painters of Iran” in the Contemporary Museum of Art in Teheran(1999)

Also the “Group Exhibition of KARA Studio Painters” in the SABZ galerie(1998) and the SA'AD ABAD Palace(2003).

The prolific Iman Maleki

We've always done it that way!

2009-08-31T11:22:00.003+05:30

This is absolutely crazy ... but a good read .. so read on ...

Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells...?

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That is an exceedingly odd number.

Why was that gauge used?
Because that is the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that is the gauge they used.

Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Okay!

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were alike in the matter of wheel spacing. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

And bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a spec and told we have always done it that way and wonder what horse's arse came up with that, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.

Now the twist to the story....When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.

The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

Therefore, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a Horse's arse.

And you thought being a horse's arse wasn't important??!!

Next time you ask why the client wants to some particularly weird bit of functionality and they say “we’ve always done it that way” remember this and think to yourself horses arse!!

:-)

Shri Krishna Janmashtami

2009-08-13T20:02:00.003+05:30

Happy “Shri Krishna Janmashtami”

Work or Prison ? which is better? (Jfg ;-))

2009-08-11T09:31:00.006+05:30

IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in an 8'X10' cell
AT WORK: You spend most of your time in a 6'X8' cubicle

IN PRISON: You get three meals a day (free)
AT WORK: You only get a break for one meal and probably have to pay for it yourself

IN PRISON: You get time off for good behavior
AT WORK: You get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK

IN PRISON: A guard locks and unlocks the doors for you ..
AT WORK: You must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself .

IN PRISON: You can watch TV and play games
AT WORK: You get fired for watching TV and playing games

IN PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit
AT WORK: You can not even speak to your family and friends

IN PRISON: All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all
AT WORK: You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

Humm?
Which Sounds Better?

So what are you waiting for......... ???
;-)

Lawyer

2009-08-03T09:28:00.002+05:30

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.

The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute and said, "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?

"The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied,
"Firstly, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbled, "Um... No."

"Or," the lawyer continued, "that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way representative began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted when the lawyer added,

"Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident,"the lawyer's voice rising in indignation,
"leaving her penniless with three children?"
The humiliated United Way representative, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea...

" On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you ?

A beautiful young lady and a fantastic weekend

2009-07-31T20:09:00.002+05:30

A young man walked into a jeweler's shop late one Friday, with a beautiful young lady by his side.

"I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend" he said.

The jeweler looks through his stock, and takes out an outstanding ring priced at $4500.

"I don't think you understand ... I want something very unique", he said.

At that, the jeweler went and fetched his special stock from the safe.

"Here's one stunning ring at $33000."

The girls' eyes sparkled, and the young man said that he would take it.

"How are you paying?"

"I'll pay by cheque, but of course the bank would want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a cheque and you can phone the bank Monday and I'll collect the ring on Monday afternoon".

Monday morning a very irate jeweler phones the man.

"You lied there's no money in that account."

"I know, but can you imagine what a Fantastic WEEKEND I had?"

HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES

2009-07-29T10:37:00.003+05:30

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new employees in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.

Then analyze the situation:

a. If they are counting the bricks put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put then in
Engineering .
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information
Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle , put them in Human Resources .
i. If they sa y they have tried different combinations, they are
looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day , put them in Marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window , put them in Strategic Planning .
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been
moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

Cleopatra Stratan

2009-07-28T08:42:00.003+05:30

Listen to this lovely cute little Moldovan singing wonder! Will make your day for sure. She did this at the age of 3, holds the record for the youngest artist who performed for about 2 hours in front of a large audience and she is the highest paid young artist.

I'm crazy not stupid!

2009-07-24T14:20:00.001+05:30

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH (Institute of mental health).

He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.. As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic.

One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened. The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he told the patient the whole incident.

The patient laughed at him & said "can't even fix such a simple problem.... no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."

Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as that"

The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why are you here at the Institute of mental health?"

Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"

Husband Store (jfg) ;-)

2009-07-23T08:54:00.001+05:30

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City;-), where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. .... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

*********
The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

*********
The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

*********
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

*********
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

*********
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Cup of Tea for Dad

2009-07-21T09:08:00.004+05:30

To all the dads out there...

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of
tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she
watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)
'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?

When a photo is not just a photo

2009-07-20T10:14:00.003+05:30

Mr Sandeep Bachhe

2009-07-15T19:23:00.003+05:30

Suvendu Roy of Titan Industries shares his inspirational encounter with a rickshaw driver in Mumbai: India

Last Sunday, my wife, kid and I had to travel to Andheri from Bandra..

When I waved at a passing auto rickshaw, little did I expect that this ride would be any
different.

As we set off, my eyes fell on a few magazines (kept in an aircraft style pouch) behind the driver's back rest. I looked in front and there was a small TV.

The driver had put on the Doordarshan channel. My wife and I looked at each other with
disbelief and amusement.

In front of me was a small first-aid box with cotton, dettol and some medicines.. This was enough for me to realize that I was in a special vehicle.

Then I looked round again, and discovered more - there was a radio, fire extinguisher, wall clock, calendar, and pictures and symbols of all faiths - from Islam and Christianity to Buddhism, Sikhism and Hinduism. There were also pictures of the heroes of 26/11

Kamte, Salaskar, Karkare and Unnikrishnan.

I realised that not only my vehicle, but also my driver was special.

I started chatting with him and the initial sense of ridicule and disbelief gradually
diminished.

I gathered that he had been driving an auto rickshaw for the past 8-9 years; he had lost his job when his employer's plastic company was shut down. He had two school-going children, and he drove from 8 in the morning till 10 at night. No break unless he was unwell. "Sahab, ghar mein baith ke TV dekh kar kya faida? Do paisa income karega toh future mein kaam aayega."
("Sir, what's the use of simply sitting at home and watching TV? If I earn some income, then it will be useful in the future").

We realised that we had come across a man who represents Mumbai - the spirit of work, the spirit of travel and the spirit of excelling in life. I asked him whether he does anything else as I figured that he did not have too much spare time. He said that he goes to an old age home for women in Andheri once a week or whenever he has some extra income, where he donates tooth brushes, toothpastes, soap, hair oil, and other items of daily use. He pointed out to a painted message below the meter that read:

25% discount on metered fare for the handicapped.
Free rides for blind passengers up to Rs.50.

He also said that his auto was mentioned on Radio Mirchi twice by the station RJs.

The Marathi press in Mumbai knows about him and have written a few pieces on him and his vehicle.

My wife and I were struck with awe. The man was a HERO! A hero who deserves all our respect. I know that my son, once he grows up, will realize that we have met a genuine hero. He has put questions to me such as why should we help other people? I will try to keep this incident alive in his memory.

Our journey came to an end; 45 minutes of a lesson in humility, selflessness and of a hero-worshipping Mumbai - my temporary home. We disembarked, and all I could do was to pay him a tip that would hardly cover a free ride for a blind man.

I hope, one day, you too have a chance to meet Mr Sandeep Bachhe in his auto rickshaw MH-02-Z-8508.

Jai Hind!!
God Bless Him!!

How To Know The Gender Of A Fly? (Jfg) ;)

2009-07-10T09:25:00.001+05:30

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter

Wife: 'What are you doing?' !
Hubby: 'Hunting Flies'
Wife: 'Oh. ! Killing any?'
Hubby: 'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,’

Intrigued, she asked.
'How can you tell them apart?' !

He responded,
'3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone

Child's Prayer (Jfg) :-)

2009-07-07T17:12:00.001+05:30

Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's Computer....

A few funny cartoons

2009-07-02T09:02:00.004+05:30

God Surrenders!!! (Jfg)

2009-06-25T16:07:00.006+05:30

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,' Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.

Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.' The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said,

'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand woman ; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

;-)

Little girl and her father

2009-06-22T14:49:00.003+05:30

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.

The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."

"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go.

But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...
This message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.. right ???

Take a break! ;-)

2009-06-19T08:45:00.004+05:30

Santa: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Santa: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Santa: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Question:"Should Women have Children after 35?"
Santa Replied:"No! 35 Children are more than enough!!"

After finishing Medicine Santa started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finally said
"Torch is okay"

Doctor to patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A good doctor

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..
Santa to judge: you are coming daily, don't U have shame?

Santa attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do you know MS Office?
Santa: If you can give me the address I will go there sir.

Santa in airplane going to Bombay... While its landing he shouted:"Bombay!! Bombay!!"
Air hostess said: "Be silent."
Santa: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"

Teacher: What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA, BUDDHA, RAM, and GANDHI?
Santa replied: All are born on government holidays...!!!

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Santa: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

Barack Obama and Japanese Prime Minister (JFG;-))

2009-06-12T17:47:00.002+05:30

A few days ago, Japan Prime Minister Mori was given some basic conversation training in English before he visited Washington and met US President Barack Obama.

The instructor said to Mori, "When you shake hand with US President Obama, please say 'how are you. Then Mr Obama should say, 'I am fine, and you?'.

Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, the translators, will do the work for you."
It looks quite simple, but the truth is:-

When Mori met Obama , he mistakenly said "Who are you?" (Instead of 'How are you?).
Mr Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:"Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha."

Then Mr Mori replied, "me too, ha-ha."
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

Exercise for Neck

2009-06-11T14:18:00.002+05:30

Trial at a UK court (JFG ;-) )

2009-06-10T18:21:00.004+05:30

A young woman who was pregnant boarded a bus. Then, when she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.

His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.
She sat under an advertisement, which read 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.
Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.'

The case was dismissed... .
;-)

The happiest people

2009-06-09T08:53:00.005+05:30

In the picture, just look at their condition.. no place to sleep, still they have made some space for the cat and the dog... water pouring from the roof but still each one of them have a peaceful smile on their face.. Simply amazing!!!!!

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

Keep Smiling Always.
Have joyful Days Ahead.

Zoozoo roaming with girlfriend

2009-06-03T09:01:00.005+05:30

A beautifully shot Vodafone ad that displays the team's creativitiy and great sense of humour, rocking now in India....Enjoy!!!

Technology and its 'Advantages'

2009-06-01T09:36:00.003+05:30

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A man with no bad habits

2009-05-25T16:55:00.005+05:30

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him.

But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you."

"I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea".

He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".

The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like.

A Funny Commercial ;-)

2009-05-22T09:12:00.004+05:30

Nothing offensive!! Please take it easy ;-)

Sacrifice

2009-05-21T08:37:00.002+05:30

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me?

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEE, your mom only has one eye!" I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only going to make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?"

My mom did not respond...I didn't even stop to think for a second about what.

I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study. Then, I got married.

I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!" GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear.

They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have. "My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.

But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.

You see.....when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,
Your mother.

Always tell someone that you love them because you never know what day will be their last, or your own. Always seek to resolve your problems or disagreements with loved ones because if either of you should pass on before, the one who is left alive will have the rest of their life to ponder those unresolved feelings but will never find closure and closure usually brings peace.

Determination, thy name is Jessica Cox!!!

2009-05-19T09:33:00.008+05:30

By now most of us have heard of this wonder-girl, but still, without writing a word or two about her would be unfair on my part to my blog write-ups.

Meet 25-year-old Jessica Cox a graduate from the University of Arizona, USA who has proven anything is possible with hard work, focus and a gritty mind-set.

Jessica was born without arms and doctors had no clue on the exact reason for she born that way. And so from her childhood, legs are her 'hands'. Like any other kid, she was aggressive and enthusiastic in many activities though she did it all with legs, that others did with hands. Be it swimming, dancing, gymnastics or outdoor sports. She always showed an aversion towards prosthetic devices even at the early stage. And here come another shocker; she earned a black belt at the age of 14 from the International Tae Kwon-Do Federation. And now you can imagine what all she can do with legs with the easiness of hands. Writing 25 wpm while taking down notes at college, using computers at ease, putting contact lenses, brushing hair, washing and what not.

Till the age of 25, three years ago, she had never traveled in an aircraft, leave alone thinking of flying one. And it was a historical meeting when Robin Stoddard, Executive Director and founder of a non-profit organization called Wright Flight Inc, happened to meet her and asked if she is interested in flying an aircraft. She obediently replied that the only thing she is scared of, is flying. Robin explained to her about his senior, a strong-minded Fighter Pilot who lost both his legs in an accident and was confined to wheel chair, but still fly planes !!! Jessica got inspired and thought of breaking the jinx and she rewrote history by flying one on that destined day, 10th of Oct 2008 and she did it in style. . Remarkable!!!

A great lesson to learn from this gorgeous, indomitable girl. She was always ‘used to’ carry out and achieve whatever she Aspired. Let us, the so called 'physically fits' be 'awake' and expect many more wonders from her in future.

God Bless !!!

Peacock fan selling kid

2009-05-18T08:47:00.003+05:30

This is Ravi, who sells peacock fans to foreign tourists in Mumbai, India. Have a look....

Relax!!

2009-05-15T15:33:00.001+05:30

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."

A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

"I was born in California."
"Which part?"
"All of me"

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,"oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"

Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

Said to a railroad engineer:
What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.

The reply from the railroad engineer:
How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
True if you dont plan at all how will you know that plan failed

A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this?
B: It's because your feet aren't empty.

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"

There is a California dude going through a desert. He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman. He's having a good time. Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching. He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: "Hey dudes how far is the sea?" They look at each other and say: "Two thousand miles!" And he says: "Wow what a cool beach!!!"

A person who speaks two languages is bilingual...A person who speaks three languages is trilingual...A person who speaks four or more languages is multilingual.
What is a person who speaks one language?
An American

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Faith

2009-05-12T08:42:00.005+05:30

This dog was born on Christmas Eve in the year 2002. He was born with 3 legs - 2 healthy hind legs and 1 abnormal front leg which needed to be amputated. He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him.

His first owner also did not think that he could survive. Therefore, he was thinking of 'putting him to sleep'. By this time, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met him and wanted to
take care of him. She was determined to teach and train this dog to walk by himself. Therefore she named him 'Faith'.

In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfing board to let him feel the movements.

Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and reward for him to stand up and jump around.

Even the other dog at home also helped to encourage him to walk. Amazingly, only after 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his 2 hind legs and jumped to move forward.

After further training in the snow, he now can walk like a human being.

Faith loves to walk around now. No matter where he goes, he just attracts all the people around him. He is now becoming famous on the international scene. He has appeared on various newspapers and TV shows. There is even one book entitled 'With a little faith' being published
about him. He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.

His present owner Jude Stringfellew has given up her teaching post and plans to take him around the world to preach that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul'.

In life there are always undesirable things. Perhaps one will feel better if one changes the point of view from another direction. I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone and that everyone can appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day that
follows.

Faith is the continual demonstration of the Strength of Life.

Money and Experience

2009-05-07T09:06:00.006+05:30

Money has no memory but, experience has.....

You will never know what the total cost of your education was, but for a lifetime you will recall and relive the memories of schools and colleges. Few years from now, you will forget the amount you paid to settle the hospitalization bill, but will ever cherish having saved your mother's life or the life you get to live with the just born. You won't remember the cost of your honeymoon, but to the last breath remember the experiences of the bliss of togetherness. Money has no memory. Experience has!

Good times and bad times, times of prosperity and times of poverty, times when the future looked so secure and times when you didn't know from where the tomorrow will come… life has been in one way or the other a roller-coaster ride for everyone. Beyond all that abundance and beyond all that deprivation, what remains is the memory of experiences.

Sometimes the wallet was full… sometimes even the pocket was empty. There was enough and you still had reasons to frown. There wasn't enough and you still had reasons to smile. Today, you can look back with tears of gratitude for all the times you had laughed together, and also look back with a smile at all the times you cried alone. All in all, life filled you with experiences to create a history of your own self, and you alone can remember them all.

The first time you balanced yourself on your cycle without support.

The first time she said 'yes' and it was two years since you proposed.

The first cry.
The first steps.
The first word.
The first kiss.
All of your child.

The first gift you bought for your parents and the first gift your daughter gave you.
The first award.
The first public appreciation.
The first stage performance.

And the list is endless, experiences, with timeless memory.
No denying that anything that's material cost money, but the fact remains the cost of the experience will be forgotten, but the experience never.

So, what if it's economic recession? Let it be, but let there not be a recession to the quality of your life. You can still take your parents, if not on a pilgrimage, at least to the local temple or church. You can still play with your children, if not on an international holiday, at least in the local park. It doesn't cost money to lie down or to take a loved one onto your lap. Nice time to train the employees, create leadership availability and be ready for the wonderful times when they arrive.

Aspects like your health, knowledge development and spiritual growth are not economy dependent. Time will pass, economy will revive, currency will soon be in current, and in all this, I don't want you to look back and realize you did nothing but stayed in gloom. Recession can make you lose out on money. Let it not make you lose out on experiences.

If you are not happy with what you have, no matter how much more you have, you will still not be happy.

Make a statement with the way you live your life:

How I feel has nothing to do with how much I have.

The blind boy

2009-05-06T08:46:00.007+05:30

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign, which said:

"I a blind please help."

There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.

He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning?

What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."
What he had written was:

"Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind.

The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Great men say, "Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness…. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience."

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…
and even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

God Bless!

A very honest proposal

2009-05-01T11:48:00.005+05:30

I got this interesting and funny VDO in mail.

Well!! let me come to the point.

This is nothing but a marriage proposal in a middle class family in Bangalore. A very short,yet funny 2 minute VDO. The traditional yet modern generation next youngsters of today...

Very neatly wrote and directed by Teju Prasad.

Have fun!!

Yoga and Whisky (Just for gags) ;-)

2009-04-29T10:26:00.006+05:30

It takes years of practice to do this asana
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It takes only 6 pegs of whiskey to do the below asana...Any difference ??? ;)
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so why practice for years......just have whisky ;-)

The Crumbled 500 rupee note!!!

2009-04-27T15:33:00.003+05:30

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note.

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?"
Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.

"Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.
You are special. Don't ever forget it!

Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dream.

God Bless!

Everything should be in balance!!! (Just for Gags) ;-)

2009-04-24T20:28:00.002+05:30

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining his subordinates

"Look everything should be in balance".

For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion.

Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....

And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes....

And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests...

So you see fellows,everything should be in balance. One of the angels asked... "God, what is this
extremely beautiful country here?"

God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all.
"INDIA", my most precious creation.
It has understanding and friendly people.
Sparkling streams, serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.
Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.....

The angel was quite surprised: "But god you said everything should be in balance."

God replied -- "Look at the neighbors I gave them"

Girl and Psychiatrist (Just for Gags :-))

2009-04-21T19:10:00.002+05:30

A Girl to a Psychiatrist:

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.

PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so >> what did he do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .. Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST : Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he had sex with me!

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.

PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!

The butterfly and the flower

2009-04-17T09:51:00.003+05:30

Once there was a man who asked God for………
a flower....and …………. a Butterfly.........

But instead God gave him a cactus....
....and a caterpillar.

The man was sad; he didn’t understand why his request was mistaken.
Then he thought:
Oh well, God has too many people to care for...
And decided not to question
After some time, the man went to check up on his request that he had left forgotten.

To his surprise, from the thorny & ugly cactus a beautiful flower had grown.
And the unsightly caterpillar had been transformed into the most beautiful butterfly.

GOD always does things right!
His way is ALWAYS the best way,
even if to us it seems all wrong.
If you asked God for one thing & received another, TRUST.
You can be sure that He will always give you what you need at the appropriate time.

What you want...
....is not always what you need!
God never fails to grant our petitions, so keep on going for Him without doubting or murmuring.

Today’s THORN...
Is tomorrow’s FLOWER!

GOD GIVES THE VERY BEST TO THOSE WHO LEAVE THE CHOICES UP TO HIM!

GOD BLESS!

Happy Vishu

2009-04-14T16:50:00.002+05:30

Wishing you all friends a very HAPPY VISHU :-)

The Crack Pot

2009-04-09T10:37:00.002+05:30

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

To all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers, on your side of the path. :-)

Financial Crisis

2009-04-08T10:19:00.002+05:30

"What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my chequeue is returned stamped "insufficient funds", I won't know whether that refers to mine or the banks!"