Yoga and Whisky (Just for gags) ;-)

It takes years of practice to do this asana
-

-

-

-
-

-

-

-

-

-

-

It takes only 6 pegs of whiskey to do the below asana...Any difference ??? ;)
-

-


















so why practice for years......just have whisky ;-)

The Crumbled 500 rupee note!!!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note.

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?"
Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.

"Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.
You are special. Don't ever forget it!

Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dream.

God Bless!

Everything should be in balance!!! (Just for Gags) ;-)

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining his subordinates

"Look everything should be in balance".

For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion.

Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....

And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes....

And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests...

So you see fellows,everything should be in balance. One of the angels asked... "God, what is this
extremely beautiful country here?"

God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all.
"INDIA", my most precious creation.
It has understanding and friendly people.
Sparkling streams, serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.
Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.....

The angel was quite surprised: "But god you said everything should be in balance."

God replied -- "Look at the neighbors I gave them"

Girl and Psychiatrist (Just for Gags :-))

A Girl to a Psychiatrist:

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.

PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so >> what did he do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .. Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST : Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he had sex with me!

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.

PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!

The butterfly and the flower

Once there was a man who asked God for………
a flower....and …………. a Butterfly.........

But instead God gave him a cactus....
....and a caterpillar.

The man was sad; he didn’t understand why his request was mistaken.
Then he thought:
Oh well, God has too many people to care for...
And decided not to question
After some time, the man went to check up on his request that he had left forgotten.

To his surprise, from the thorny & ugly cactus a beautiful flower had grown.
And the unsightly caterpillar had been transformed into the most beautiful butterfly.


GOD always does things right!
His way is ALWAYS the best way,
even if to us it seems all wrong.
If you asked God for one thing & received another, TRUST.
You can be sure that He will always give you what you need at the appropriate time.

What you want...
....is not always what you need!
God never fails to grant our petitions, so keep on going for Him without doubting or murmuring.

Today’s THORN...
Is tomorrow’s FLOWER!

GOD GIVES THE VERY BEST TO THOSE WHO LEAVE THE CHOICES UP TO HIM!

GOD BLESS!

Happy Vishu

Wishing you all friends a very HAPPY VISHU :-)

The Crack Pot

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

To all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers, on your side of the path. :-)

Financial Crisis

"What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my chequeue is returned stamped "insufficient funds", I won't know whether that refers to mine or the banks!"

Funny Foreign English Phrases

Just for Gags ok...nothing serious here..... :-)


1. Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.


2. At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.


3. Doctor's office in Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.


4. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner. Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL
YOURSELF.


5. In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.


6. On the grounds of a Nairobi private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.


7. In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.


8. The best! In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.


9. Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.


10. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS,
ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

11. Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM,
IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.


12. Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.


13. A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.


14. Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.


15. Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?


16. The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.


17. Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.


18. In a Japanese cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

19. A School Teacher who teaches local language in India; inside the classrom...

Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.

Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor

You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)

Both of u three get out of the class.

Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...

Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....

Take 5 cm wire of any length....

Again......Just for gags.....nothing serious here :-)

Its always fun to poke someone... you know.....but yes when someone do the same to us.....we should be ready to laugh at ourselves....So no war.....Just peace everywhere.......LOL...... :-)

Short yet interesting :)

All are significant

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz.
I was a conscientious student and had breezed through
the questions, until I read the last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times.
She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet manypeople.
All are significant.
They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say"hello".
I've never forgotten that lesson.
I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing onthe side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s.
The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him.
Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door.
To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.
A special note was attached.
It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night.
The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits.
Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away.
God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others,
" Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table.
A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.
The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.
There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.


The Obstacles in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway.
Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.
Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.
Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.
Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.
After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.
After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.
The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.
The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Giving when it Counts.

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease.
Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.
The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be
willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying,
"Yes I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks.
Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, Will I start to die right away?". Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.