The naughty kid Tintu Mon

MOTHER
Father to Tintu Mon: Why can't you think every woman as your mother?
Tintu Mon: I can, but if i do so, what will people think of you?

BEGGAR
Bus Conductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman?
Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “change”, Is your father a Beggar??

MARRIAGE
Tintu Mon to lover: Yesterday I had been to your house!!! Looks like our marriage will not happen!
Lover : Hey dear ! What happened? You met my dad ???
Tintu Mon: No! In fact, I met your sister!

English Class
Tintu Mon: I sleep with dad last night
Teacher corrects him: no..no! I slept with dad last night
Tintu Mon: So you reached my home after I slept????? Very baaad Teacher!!!

DOSA
Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when heated
Tintu Mon: Dosa

PROFESSOR
A Professor to Tintu Mon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?”
Tintu Mon: “JIMBALAKDI BAMBA”
Professor: “i don't understand anything”
Tintu Mon: “same 2 you”

DINESHAN
Teacher :What is the name of Gandhiji's son?
Tintu Mon: Dineshan
Teacher :Why?????
Tintu Mon : Mahatma Gandhi is the father of ‘di-neshan’

FAMILY
Tintu Mon : how am I born ?
Mom: Oh dear! You reached in a flood!
Tintu Mon: So how are you and dad born! And grandpa and grandma and others?
Mom: Oh dear! Even we all in a flood!
Tintu Mon: Opps! No one in this family is born for proper parents!!! Shame on us!

LKG
To be is to do(Socrates)
To do is to be(Plato)
To be or not to be(Shakespeare)
Alright here you go!!! .Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu mon, LKG)
(That is the jingle of a local student’s bag ad)


CHEMISTRY
Teacher: What is “Al2 O3″ ?
Ramu: Alumina.
Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3″?
Tintu Mon : “Filomina”

FOOD
Tintu Mon: ‘Dad Dad! I wanna say something!..
Dad: Never talk while having food youuuuu idi***+_#)_(*)$(&!!!
(After eating)
Dad: Ok now tell me what you want?
Tintu Mon: I was about to tell this……..there was a lizard in your plate!!!!!!
(pic taken from net)*

Love At First Sight :)

(pic taken from net)*

Help for childhood fears ;-)

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TOLD HIM

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist.
'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.'

'How much do you charge?'
'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
'I'll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you,' I said.

Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street.
'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!

A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV.
'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed - ain't nobody under there now!’

SCREW THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BAR ATTENDER. ;-)

Two Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice? At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?' The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.' Then he told the following story: Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps. I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.' Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay' Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!' As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team 'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'. Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day! AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces. If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.' So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process? A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them. You now have two choices: 1. Delete 2. Forward May your day, be a Shay Day.

This is a mail which i received and thought should share with you all.....:)